East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
BRING THE BAGELS
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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