yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
