To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
