So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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