Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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