dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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