Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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