And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
