i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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