hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
