umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
