Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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