Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
ugly people sure do ruin things
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
