My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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