It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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