if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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