Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
