I cannot find my penis.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
