At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
