If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
