FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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