Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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