if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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