Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
