My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she peed on how many people?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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