wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
