sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
