Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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