Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
please don't ironically join a cult
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