his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
