I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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