ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
