Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
