I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
