who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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