My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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