Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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