worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
