Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
