she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Quick, to the slutcave!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
