Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
