You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
