I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
