Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
