I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
