Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
