she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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