Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's blow job season.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
