She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
