Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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