Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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