I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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